Small Appliances Can Be Dangerous

I guess I have to tell my Veg-O-Matic story. You remember the Veg-O-Matic, don't you? That plastic thing with changeable blades that make cutting french fries a breeze?
Yeah, well, that's not ALL they can slice and dice, lemme tell ya.
Let's go back to my pre-children days...ohhhh about 1978 or so. We were living in a huge old house in Jacksboro with a kitchen not much smaller than the apartment we have now.
I was quite young, and....ahem...quite 'perky' if ya get my drift. ( o Y o) .
Anyway, I had a new Veg-O-Matic and I was gonna make some french fries....all you had to do was put the potato on the blades, and KA-CHUNK!!!....you've got mounds of cut potatoes....right?
Well, I put my potato on the blade, my hands on the handles on the sides, and KA-CH....nuthin'. That thing would not cut. So I tried again...KA-CH...nuthin'.
DAMN! This wasn't as easy as they said it was on TV. But ya gotta be smarter than a small appliance, so I decided to use a little leverage on it.
I put my hand on the top of it....leaned over it...(remember the perkiness?) and KA-CHUNK!!!!!!!......AAAAYYYYEEEIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Yep...that's right....I am probably the only person you will ever know who got her tit caught in the Veg-O-Matic.
Which is why, from that day forward, I had one that pointed to El Paso and one that pointed somewhere down about Chihuahua Mexico.

AND STOP LOOKING!!!!