Public Service Announcement

It has come to my attention that I have been lax in addressing a very real health issue that is affecting the men of this country in droves. Men of all ages, all heights and weights, all races and religions are suffering.

This condition has been the wrack and ruin of families and careers. It does not care whom it targets and symptoms can become apparent as early as puberty, or well into the senior years.

This terrible illness is known as WDS....Wandering Dick Syndrome.

Yes, ladies, when you find lipstick on his collar, or panties in the console of his car, it's not that he's a lying cheat....the man is SICK. It's not his fault.

WDS is just becoming widely recognized as an illness. We anticipate the first annual Wandering Walk 5K in the fall.

I understand that doctors will be issuing yellow parking placards and Medicare is gearing up for an influx of applications for coverage of Viagra to help those poor sufferers of WDS cope with the increased wear and tear on their Ds.

There will also be a golf tournament in the spring to raise funds to promote awareness. Tiger Woods has been named the poster child of WDS.

This has been a Public Service Announcement for Wandering Dick Syndrome.

Life at Limpdik Park

New Year's Day has come and gone here at Limpdik Park, and we've seen many events and changes over the past 12 months.

Once again we rang in the new year with a potluck dinner, attended by about 35 people. Food was good. Then when people cleared out, about a dozen of us stayed and broke out the booze and turned up the tunes and had a party. Just good friends sitting around talking and joking with several bottles of bubbly.

We got new owners and new managers and new maintenance this year. I think I'll call our new manager 'Margarita', because she'd be a hoot to knock back some tequila with.She hugs me when she sees me and sometimes calls me momma. I like it! 

Our new maintenance director we'll call 'Rico Suave'. Everybody loves Rico. He's big and tall and strong and I think he could probably fix anything. He's got a nice smile. And he should consider himself lucky that I'm not 20 years younger and 100 lbs lighter. 'Nuff said. 

'Kay' just came on as our assistant manager. She used to be our porter, so she's used to all the loony tunes around here.

Speaking of the Tunes.....we've had some come and some go, and some come back.

Dotty is back with her two chihuahuas...the ones she was heard to be trying to breast feed just before she left last time. *_* She takes them out several times a day in a baby stroller. I swear those dogs have "help me" in their eyes.

Clyde and Sylvia got married in August. They are both in their late 80's. I believe. During their wedding reception, Clyde fell in the men's room, and broke his hip. They spent the first few months of their new marriage with him in rehab. (Update on Clyde: he took another tumble in his apartment 10 days ago and cracked the other one.)

Henry, a friend here, asked me if I knew anything about computers. I admitted that I know enough about some things, and not enough about other things. He told me that someone with an accent called him on Friday and told him they were from "Windows" and they were calling him because he had a virus on his computer. He was leery enough to get a phone number and call them back. They answered "Hello" instead of a company name, and even though he was still leery, he continued to talk to them. He answered all their questions, and followed all their instructions, and the next thing he knew, they had remote access to his computer and were doing some kind of 'upgrade' which they said he needed to get rid of the virus.  By this time I was shaking my head. I advised him that "Windows" is not a company, but an operating system, and even if it was, there were billions of computers using it and they wouldn't care if he did have a virus. I told him to go home NOW and change all his passwords and run a virus check and to notify his bank if he had ever done anything financial online. It's a darned shame that some people take advantage of older people who don't know any better.

So far, this New Year, I find myself having very little patience. There's a lady here..let's call her Tommy, who seems to want to argue with me, no matter what I say. People on Facebook are pissing me off right and left. Stupidity is running rampant, and that's always been a pet peeve.

So, I decided that I would adopt a new motto......Blow me. 

For those on Facebook who think they know me and therefore can put words in my mouth (or fingers if you prefer)...Blow me.

For those who live here who think that age gives them the right to be rude....Blow me.

For those who have to have the last word, even if it's wrong....Blow me.

In some form or fashion...blow me. Blow me today...blow me tomorrow...blow me twice if you're lucky...blow me hard, blow me soft...blow me up, blow me down, as Popeye used to say.

Feel free to borrow it for yourself...it actually feels pretty good, even if you never say it out loud.