Why I Stay Out Of Margaritaville

I mentioned to a friend the other day my first and last encounter with a "Cadillac Margarita". To the best of my recollection, this is a gallon-sized glass of margarita with a shot of some kind of molten lava poured on top.

She asked for the 'rest of the story', so here goes:

Dave and I had spent a fun day at Universal Studios in LA. Only about an hour's drive from home. We were hungry so we decided to make a little detour and go to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, called El Perico Ranchero in Upland.
While we were waiting for a table, I kept seeing these huge glasses leaving the bar area. I told Dave I wanted one of those. Why not? I wasn't driving. And it had been a long day.

We were seated and ordered our drinks and our dinner.The drinks came first. BIG mistake. It had been hours since we ate, and we were exhausted from our day of fun. I poured my shot of lava on top of my margarita and took a sip. I thought my throat was on fire. The icy part of the drink quickly cooled it, and I had another sip. By the time our dinner came, I had drank maybe an inch from the top of the glass. And I was woozy.

I told Dave I had to step outside for some air. I went out to the porch and had a smoke and thought I was calmed enough to come back inside. I wasn't.

I had to escape or die. I told Dave that I was going to the car, but he should stay and enjoy his meal. The waitress asked if I was ok, and he said I just needed some air, so he had my dinner wrapped, while he ate his own, drank his margarita, mine, and the shot of lava given to him by the guy at the next table.

Since it takes a boatload of alcohol to even phase Dave, he was fine for the drive home. I woke up when he got in and we started the 1/2 hour drive home.

Then.....they caught my eye....Christmas decorations....everywhere. In yards, on rooftops...I was compelled to share the wonder of it all with Dave so I started pointing them out to him....all of them...block after block after block....

me: "Snowman"
Dave: Yes, that's a snowman.
me: "Santa"
Dave: Yep
me: Grrrrrinch
Dave: Hmm
me: Stop sign (!?!?!)
Dave: Baby, shut up.
me: ZZZzzzzzzz

I took a vow that night. Well the next morning, anyway.....never to drink tequila again. I don't care if it's a Cadillac, a Rolls Royce, or a Volkswagon...NEVER AGAIN!!