Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

I have come to the conclusion that women either no longer own full length mirrors, or choose to use them as clothes racks rather than as the public service devices they were intended to be.

I spent today at Costco, Walmart, and Target, or as they are known in the South, The Holy Trinity. I saw things that were down-right embarrassing to see.

You wouldn't believe some of the things that people left the house wearing. Things that I wouldn't even answer the door and be seen in.

When I was a child, I used to ride the bus downtown with my aunt to shop, have lunch, and see a movie. We did not leave her house until her hat was on straight, and her gloves were handy, and my socks were pulled up evenly. A lady dressed to be seen in public, You never knew who you might run into.

Now I'm not suggesting we go back to times like that, but I am suggesting that people purchase and use a mirror before subjecting themselves on innocent bystanders.

For those who are not used to actually using a mirror, here's how they work:

1. Get dressed.
2. Stand in front of the shiny glass rectangle, hereafter referred to as a "mirror"
3. If any of the following situations apply, undress and return to step 1.

*If you can see fluffy places escaping from the back of your bra, do not attempt to wear the tee shirts you wore in high school. The same applies to pants, shorts, jeans and skirts. Tighter does NOT make you look smaller.
* If you sleep in the pants you're wearing out....change before you leave the house. Nobody really wants to see 'JUICY' written across your butt, OR your Hello Kitty house slippers.
* If the bottom of your shirt does not meet the top of your pants...try again. This goes for men as well as women. Very few people have 'abs of steel'. Most of us have 'abs of marshmallow' and they should be kept under wraps.
* If you are pregnant, please please do not wear skin tight tops. Yes, pregnancy is beautiful...inch-long outie belly buttons are not.
* If the back of your hair looks like you spent the past few hours doing the horizontal mambo...please purchase a hairbrush and learn to use it.
* Gentlemen, if the tee shirt you're wearing has words on it you wouldn't want your mother or your daughter to read....don't just change it...burn it.
* Girls, if your mother says you look like a hoochie mama in that outfit, she is probably right. People DO judge a book by it's cover. If you dress like a slut, people will assume you are a slut and won't bother getting to know the 'real you'.

These are just a few suggestions. There are even websites dedicated to the things that people wear in WalMart. As a wise young friend of mine says..."Spandex is a privilege, not a right".